Blog Archive

Thursday, July 31, 2014

'Sharknado 2: The Second One': Live Tweets

Another year, another Sharknado. Here are my Malbec-infused live tweets from last night's broadcast of "Sharknado 2: The Second One" — just for you, ol' chum ...

Sunday, July 13, 2014

3 Things 'Top Gun' Taught Me

Recently, I attended the Millennium Park Summer Film Series outdoor screening of "Top Gun" in Chicago, and despite having seen this this timelessly dated Reagan-era classic literally dozens of times in the 28 years since its theatrical release,its wisdom never ceases to enlighten. Here are three bits of valuable info to help ensure you don't wind up flying a cargo plane full of rubber dogsh*t outta Hong Kong:

1. When it comes to international diplomacy, it is of
vital importance to properly keep up foreign relations.
2. While there was a character whose Top Gun
call-sign was Cougar, it wasn't Kelly McGillis.
3. If you have committed to a pickup game of beach volleyball with
a group of your sweaty, shirtless, cleanly-chest-shaven frenemies ...

... but have a hot date with the aforementioned
older lady that same evening, the rule is always ...
... bros ...

... before ...

... hoes.